Hello. I'm a 28 year old alcoholic
woman. My addiction has progressed since
I was 16. I've been in legal trouble due
to my use several times. I met a
wonderful man in a recovery program when I
was 18. We moved in together a few
months later and married 4 years ago.
We've both gone back to using since
treatment. We're very much in love. The
downfall is we enable, feed off of, and
depend upon each other. I'm sorry if
this comes across as whining but I just
need to pour it out somewhere. I'm
terrified lately. I've pretty much
detached myself from all reality other
than him, drinking, doing the bare
minimums to keep the house together, and
holding a part time job. I do give myself
credit for that. I've been diagnosed as
ocd, social anxiety disorder, and
alcoholic/addict. I don't know if any
other diagnosis than alcoholism is
accurate. I realize that I need to make
changes in my entire lifestyle to become
healthy. I admit that i'm addicted. I
know that my husband is also and I want to
help him. He says that he's willing to
stop with and for me. I want us to do it
for our own lives and our life together,
not depending on if the other is able or
willing to. I don't know the proper
steps to take. I don't know if i'm
strong enough to overcome this. We've
both been through outpatient and inpatient
treatment multiple times. I really don't
want to have to do that again for
financial and legal reasons. I'm so
scared. I have no friends or family who
I feel right turning to. I know that
it's an illness, but I also feel that most
of it is self-inflicted and i'm embarassed
because of that. I've known for years
that i've got a problem. I just keep
letting it progress. I could go on all
night. This isn't even half of what's
inside me but it sums up my predicament.
I hope someone can understand and maybe
suggest something.
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sandbag5492004
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 55 Location: New York
Posted: 11-26-04 01:20am
Dear bottomingout,
don't give up, coming on this
board shows me that you really want help.
I know it is a disease, both a physical as
well as mental. All members of my mothers
family were alcoholics, including herself
and sister and many others. Needless to
say because of that plus mental illness
predisposed in my family my sisters and I
had and lived through a violent childhood.
I forgave them and understand how you
feel . My sisters and I don't drink. We
broke the cycle. You need to attend aa
meetings every night if necessary and talk
to others who are now clean. They really
understand what it is like. They can
offer you the support you and your
boyfriend need. I know you have tried
before but good things take awile to
happen. Have faith that you can do it and
you might be able to lick it this time.
You might also want to ask their advice
about living with someone who is also an
alcoholic as that can be detrimental for
both of you. Reccommend that you both
rent the film called "the days of wine and
roses". It is about a couple in the same
situation you are in-rent it and watch
it.
Just a word too god can help you
through this if you trust in him ,
honestly he can. Let me know how you are
coming along. Live one minute at a
time.
Yours in christ
leslie(f-59)
|
bottomingout
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Nov 2004 Posts: 2
Posted: 11-29-04 01:07am
Thank you so much for replying! It helps
to know that others understand. I will
take your advice to heart. I do think aa
would be benefitial. I don't know if i'd
be comfortable talking about my issues,
but being around others who have the same
illness will help. Again, thank you
